Posts Tagged ‘social development’

Ugh.

Mrs. Baker

Bleh.

The piano. Ugh. Bleh. And double yuck.

I resented that piano with it’s massive size. I resented its placement in the room. I resented being tucked away behind it where no one could see me. Or more importantly where no one, especially Mrs. Baker, could hear me.

I’m sure first grade consisted of more than sitting behind the piano, but that’s all I really remember. Anytime I talked at all in class, I got put behind the piano so I couldn’t distract the other students. As soon as I was released from that isolation someone would say something to me and I would respond, “Shh, don’t get me in trouble.” And next thing I knew, I was back behind the piano. Mrs. Baker only had ears for my voice. I admit, I talked a lot. But I was bored a lot. And I’m an only child with a mother who, at that time, was earning her bachelor’s degree in business. We didn’t really have a lot of time to talk and when we did, they weren’t usually little kid conversations. I was hungry for socializing.

As I was remembering first grade with my mom this week, I told her I could already see my future as a parent in parent-teacher conferences. I’m sure teachers will tell me that Sammi is a smart girl who gets her work done quickly, but she talks too much and distracts the other children from doing their work. My mom chuckled since this is exactly what every single one of my report cards from elementary school through middle school says. But her response to my teachers was that I was an only child who thrived on social interactions. She could see how this gift would help me as I went to college and needed to form study groups and succeed in my classes. And for that reason, she didn’t see it as a character flaw to be squashed out of me, but rather a talent to be put to good use. Aren’t moms the best!

As I’ve spent a little more time thinking about first grade, I do remember participating in the first grade “play” where I was a ladybug with my best friend Cara. My hair was pulled back tight in a bun and I wore a black leotard with huge red pom poms sewn on the back. It’s one of my favorite pictures from first grade. Too bad it’s in Tennessee and I’m in Utah. I’ll have to add it later.

Mrs. Baker always made mugs for her students. They were designed to look like denim jeans and each one had a student’s name written on the label of the jeans. I spent the last few months of the school year worried that she wouldn’t make me one because she didn’t like me. But, she was a better teacher than that! I did get my mug with my name on it and I cherished it for many years even though I didn’t really like first grade at all. But I managed to learned everything required to move on to second grade, which was a happy, happy day for me!

This post is linked up with Mommy’s Piggy Tales. Check out other great stories about first grade experiences.

This Top Ten list is all about the social development of babies birth to one year. I think it’s fascinating they begin at birth to recognize and attach themselves to parents and consistent caregivers. Here are my favorite ten ways to know your baby thinks the world of you…and only you (and maybe Daddy, too.)

Birth to 4 Months

1. Gazes into your eyes while being fed.

2. Begins to coo or smile when you talk to him or her.

3. Fusses or cries to get your attention.

5 to 8 Months

4. Smiles when you smile or make gentle, funny faces.

5. Kicks legs or reaches with arms when seeing you approach.

6. Bounces on your lap to get attention.

9 to 12 Months

7. Checks out your reaction before deciding if he or she should act hurt.

8. Reaches to you for comfort when upset or hurt.

9. Shows great delight when playing peek-a-boo with you.

Your Favorite

10. How do you know you are the center of your little one’s world?

This post is linked to Oh Amanda’s Top Ten {Tuesday} carnival.

We are having a blast at Grandpa’s house this week. We’re sort of settling into a routine of play, hot chocolate, play, lunch, play, Elli’s nap, play, dinner, play and sleep. Wake up and repeat. Sammi is having a blast with her cousin who’s just 6 months older than her, though she is a few inches taller! Here are some pictures of them playing this afternoon.

Sammi and her cousin posing in the backyard

Sammi and her cousin have been negotiating games, TV watching, playground play and such. It’s interesting to see how they take turns talking each other into what they want to do. Sammi has had to accept that she can’t boss her (older) cousin around the way she can Elli. She’s also gotten pretty creative in enticing him to do what she wants. Overall, I would say she’s matured in her social development from the last time they played together. There haven’t been any temper tantrums or breakdowns over not getting what she wants. It’s been fun to see them just relish every moment of play they have together.

Saving the sheets from the wind

Elli napping after all that play. Doesn’t she look so pleased!

Grandpa’s house from Sammi’s perspective

What do you or your kids love most about visiting the grandparents?

If you haven’t yet, please check out the Baby Leg Warmers giveaway going on until March 1o.

…time and space for free play.

I’m continuing my series on ways I would love to make a difference in the world. In previous posts I suggested an indoor play area not part of a fast food restaurant in every community and a bookshelf full of age appropriate books for every home. I’ve been thinking a lot about play as a necessary part of child development. I recently began reading Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen. He names three reason child desperately need play in their lives:

1. To Connect, or Reconnect after connection has been severed
2. To Build Confidence by role playing and practicing new skills in a safe environment
3. To Heal from Emotional Distress by recreating the situation with different roles and outcomes

These are compelling reasons why children need generous amounts of free time to play, create, connect, imagine and discover the world around them and their position in that world. I see such potential in my little ones and I want more than anything to provide every opportunity to foster that potential. But my biggest fear is over-scheduling them in sports, lessons, service opportunities and any other good thing that may arise. Cohen goes on to explain that this need for play is not an early childhood phenomenon. That childhood is made up of this need to play and it stretches long past toddlerhood.

It’s not just important that children play, but that they have playmates. This could be siblings, friends and even, maybe most importantly, parents. When we use play as an opportunity to connect with our children we can learn something about them and their experiences that we would never be able to draw out of them through conversation alone. When we use play to build confidence in our children they are learning in a most powerful way the strength of their character and determination to master a skill. When we use play to help them heal from emotional distress we skip over the discipline, yelling, correcting that we somehow come to rely on and jump instead straight to the heart of the matter and bring our little ones back to the joy of life they so often display.

For these reasons, and many more, I want every child to have the time and space to play.

What do you want for every child?

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One day Elli invented a new game. I don’t remember it evolving from any patterns or previous games. I can’t even think of where she might have gotten the idea. As far as I can tell, it’s all her own and she definitely owns it!

After I change her diaper, I usually stand her up on the changing table to pick her up. One day when she was facing me she held up her hand for me to kiss. So I kissed her hand. Then she held up the other hand for me to kiss. So I kissed it. Then, without warning, she planted both hands firmly on my the upper part of my chest, like you see in the picture. It startled me so much I almost lost my balance!

She has repeated this game for over a week now. She absolutely loves it and giggles the whole time. I keep wondering where she came up with the idea. I guess I may never know. But I do know that it’s so fun to interact with her in a game that she initiates. I feel like the child waiting with excitement to see what the next part of the game will be. Elli’s the parent patiently teaching me what to do, like when I first didn’t realized I was supposed to kiss her hand and she nearly smacked my lips so I’d get it.

What games have your little ones invented that you had to learn?

I was at the health department last month and picked up an information card highlighting milestones of child development for little ones birth through 4 years old. I thought it fitting to share with you as it has great things to look for in your little ones as they change month to month.

The purpose of the CDC’c campaign “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” is to help parents and healthcare providers catch the signs of developmental delays and disorders early so resources and treatments can begin as early as possible thus allowing children the maximum benefit from those resources and treatments.

I’ve been blessed with two healthy little ones so I love this information from a “oh ya, she does that now!” perspective. But my best friend from high school just told me that her second child was recently diagnosed with high functioning autism. A label to the behavior somehow seems to change the whole experience. Sometimes it’s in a good way because now real information and solutions become available. But sometimes it’s in a negative way when there’s denial or an uncooperative attitude from a parent or teacher. I think information is the key to understanding. That coupled with the love we have for our little ones will get us and them far in this life.