I Am Struggling

When I started blogging years ago I set out to share what I learned in my academic journey about child development. My hope was that if you understood your child’s development, you’d see their behavior differently and have a better idea of how to work with your child.

Then the blog became a showcase for the craft projects Sammi and I did together. We spent most of our time elbow deep in glue, glitter, stars, pumpkins and hearts. When she went off to preschool, I discovered that Elli was not interested in craft projects. So I floundered in what to share. Then we added Scott to our family and I was on quite the colicky roller coaster ride with him! But that was all so difficult and personal that I didn’t have the energy or the heart to write about it.

This is where kindie music entered my life and started working on my heart. I have loved the music we have reviewed over the years. We still listen to much of it frequently. But it has been hard to find the energy to be creative. I have far more ideas of what I’d like to do with the kids than what we actually do. But I put on an “everything’s just fine” face and wrote, even if it was only infrequently at best.

And now, four kids into motherhood I have the courage to admit that it’s hard. I am struggling to meet every one’s needs. I am struggling to keep the house clean and put a good meal on the table. I am struggling with the loudness of kids playing and fighting. I am struggling with the unkowns of the medical education journey we have been on with Brent. When I think about all of it together it’s rather overwhelming. It’s usually after I’ve fed the baby at 4 am when it all floods my mind and I lay helpless to do anything but relive the mistakes and make plans for a better tomorrow.

I know if you were here in my half-cleaned basement with me you’d lean over and give me a hug, and maybe even a kiss on the cheek and tell me, “I hear ya! It’s hard. But we’ll get through this together.” I know, because that’s what I’d do for you. Even in the midst of my struggling, I want to reach out, love, and support you.

So now I write to remember what I’ve learned about how children develop in the hopes that it will help me respond better to their needs. I write to remember the fun times we have had together. I write to share the resources I have found that give me hope and skills to plan better tomorrows. And I hope in my writing that you feel encouraged in your own parenting journey.

Growing Up MagazineTo this end I have gathered my favorite resources, ideas, products and music into monthly issues of Growing Up magazine available for your Apple device. This month’s issue is all about the importance of pretend or imaginative play. As a special thank you for traveling this road with me, you can use the code GUMagBonus for a free 3 month subscription! I hope you’ll find encouragement and ideas to make parenting young children more joyful.

Linked up here!


  1. renee says

    Wow! You made it to 4 kids before feeling overwhelmed–you’re doing pretty good then! I only have two and I feel like if every day was a year long I STILL wouldn’t be able to get everything done 😉 I hope you find some balance and relief and have tons of “better tomorrows” in your near future.

  2. Kimber's Navy Family says

    I am a mother to a 5-year old, 2.5-year old twin toddlers, and am pregnant with our fourth– all boys! I have been struggling a lot lately as well. It’s definitely been better now that I’m in the 2nd trimester, but, man… Things just seem to get busier and busier!!! :)

  3. ldskatelyn says

    Yes, I would give you a hug! Motherhood is tough. And it’s only tough because it is absolutely worth fighting for.

  4. says

    It IS hard! Good for you for admitting that. So many of us try to hide and pretend. There are so many seasons of motherhood, all with their own joys and hardships. I hope that things are brightening up for you a bit, and that things are going well with the magazine!

    • says

      Thanks! The baby is older now and so things are getting easier. Really, I think I’m learning to enjoy the ebb and flow of life instead of expecting it to be something more static and predictable.

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